I don't really know how to use this site.. or why i came here in the first place.. i guess i wanted to talk to someone without the fear of them using that info against me, or maybe i came for advice idk. So I have Haphephobia, which is the fear of being touched. Things like hugs or a pat on the shoulder oftentimes make me freeze up, my anxiety builds up the longer i'm being touched.
In high school, I was pretty secluded, my friends were in a different class and i was pretty much a wallflower in my class. No one had the reason to touch me and even if they did, I would just bear it and calm myself down after. But now I'm in college with a different group of friends, and these people are pretty...affectionate, I guess. I've dodged certain situations before but I feel like the more time I spend with them, the harder it is for me to hide my phobia. I just.. don't know how to tell them about it. We aren't close enough for me to open up, and I'm worried that if I do tell them about my phobia, they'd get curious and be eager to know more, or they might think I'm weird or faking it. I'm still at that point where I'm trying to maintain a good impression around them. I don't want this issue to affect how they view me. I don't know how to even begin to tell them, nor do i want to go into detail as to how i developed this phobia. I don't want them to think I'm damaged or fragile.
I don't know how many people read the posts on this site, but perhaps if someone reads this and thinks they have some advice, please let me know, it would help a lot, thank you.