feel
understand
hurt
realize

hate

Time Spent- 13m
14 Visitors

I feel empty, I have a bad childhood, Many miserable things happened to me as a family member, and as a kid. I don't want to talk all about that in detail but I'm sure you know what I mean. These things that happened to me caused me to become so mature at a early age. I knew I think different than all of my other classmates because I always thought everything they said were simply dreams but as I grew up I came to realize those dreams came true for them, and not for me, I was jealous so, I started making a new "me" I decided not to focus on my studies anymore because even if I was at the top my parents only noticed my medals, My grades went downhill, I was happy my mom finally noticed me and started helping me with my studies but, I was not satisfied so i became even more immature I did things to make me the center of attention, I'd purposely slip and fall so that I could make others laugh, It hurt's when I do reckless things but the faces of my classmates made that hurt go away but only for a while, A classmate of mine one day said "cut it out already, everyone knows your faking" everyone laughed and I became an outcast, months later my parents separated, Then a sudden realization hit me, I was always like an object who became the center of attraction and after people got tired of me they'd leave me. Me and my mom became very distant, my brother that doesn't feel like one I hate everything. Its so unfair, I'm supposed to be happy, why do i feel like this?? why does it feel like no one will ever understand me.