3 months ago
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He Still Watches Porn

I found porn on my boyfriend’s phone on accident. It wasn’t that I was snooping. I had asked to borrow his phone because I’d forgotten mine so I could google something. Porn was what he’d last had up in the browser. I know that guys everywhere claim it’s completely normal for them to continue to watch porn and masturbate during a relationship, but it scares me that I’m not enough for him in a sexual manner. What am I doing wrong? Is my tummy the problem? Is my face the problem? Does he prefer fake boobs? Running through my head, these all sound ridiculous. I know I’m pretty. I know I’m smart. I know my body is fine the way it is and to assume anything else is just torture I’m inflicting on myself. But I can’t help feel insufficient.





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3 months ago

Re: He Still Watches Porn

You wouldn't wanna skip dessert would you?

The best way someone described to me masturbating to porn in a relationship is that sex is the main course in a relationship while masturbation is the dessert, you always have room for dessert. Sex is very taxing and takes a lot of energy if he doesn't want to have sex and instead decides to watch porn, then its not because he thinks badly of you. It's because he simply doesn't have enough energy to help you and himself get off. Dont think of yourself as inefficiant, think of yourself as the main course.


I think this situation doesnt indicate anything alongside you not meeting his needs. It may be as simple as him not wanting to put much effort into sex sometimes and just meeting some of his needs on his own rather than relying on you completly in that matter and paying attention to pleasure you at the same time. Also he may explore his sexuality sometimes which is defienetly a good thing as a person needs to know how to pleasure themselfs better before asking a partner about how they like it best/ what they want to try/ are curious about or maybe experience something they would feel to ashamed to bring up around a partner. Also there is an effect which makes it so a person is more excited when seeing someone new/diffrent and him getting that excitement through porn is 100% normal. I dont think there is anything to worry about but if it makes you feel that way i would advise you to go and talk to him in private. Tell him how you found out and how it makes you feel what bothers you and ask him what he thinks about it and how does he view this activity and let him reassure you that there is nothing wrong with you and that he loves you and having sex with you as 90% that is what is gonna happen if you just tell him your thoughts.


I had never looked at it. But was abused as child. Therapist try help. PTSD cause me issues.

So I start look at art type pics of nude women. It was women who assaulted me starting at age 4. I wanted to reprogram myself. Go back to seeing nude women as beautiful; rather than as potential threats to my kids. My ex freaked out. Called it sick. We watched R rated movies together. These were art pics. Not sex.

Well whatever.

Funny thing is; I still only get excited thinking about her. I never cheated on her. She threw away the only man who ever loved her. Oh well. I caught a blood infection in a cheap hotel. Looks like I’ll be dead in less than a year. So I hope she’s prepared to live alone. Because I’m the only man she ever wanted around her.

That’s not why she divorced me. But it annoyed me that she brought up my therapy in divorce court. I was raped & sodomized for 14 yrs. starting at 2. I only remember from age 4. That was my private business.