I am 21 years old and I am a mum of 2 under 2. My youngest is only a month old and my eldest will be 2 on Halloween. I dont have 2 seconds to myself. Whenever my partner leaves the house I feel scared and alone and that I wont be able to cope with my children. I dont want to be a bad mum but I just want a day where I dont have to breastfeed or I dont have a toddler shouting mum mum mum. I dont want to leave the house because I'm scared. My head keeps playing tricks on me making me think I can hear my baby crying or my head tells me about all these things that are dark that I should do to myself. I just want quietness and peace I know I'm a mumma and my kids are my world but I dont know how long I can keep going like this. I keep trying to fight the thoughts but they are getting louder and louder and I'm also in pain because these thoughts almost always cause migraines. I dont have any people to talk to on a daily basis I have my partner and my mum but I dont have conversations every day I can go a whole day without speaking a single word because I have none.