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It's not that I don't love myself. I do, but it is so hard for me to let people in or even think about letting people in. I love myself, I just didn't want to expect more from People and at the same time treat them as how I wanted to be treated. But, sometimes, they treated me very nicely, and I started to expect more, I try to push my feeling but how? Everytime I try to push my feeling, I feel like I'm not treating my self fair. I wanted to acknowledge my feeling but I know it'll hurt when what you expect isn't true. Help?

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Re: Help?

Yeah. I thought I found eternal love. Gave her my heart & soul for 35 yrs. then out of the blue she divorced me cause her mom told her to. We are still best friends. But I think I’m starting to realize that’s over. She wants me back but she’d have to admit her mom is full of shit. She worships her mom. She even said point blank. I was wrong. I never should have divorced you. You were not the problem. But mom needs me more than you do. She’s getting old. I have to take care of her.

Her mom has a healthy husband about my age & enough money to hire help. But I can’t change her sense of duty.

We must accept no matter how much love we feel for others. No matter how much we try to project onto others. They will probably never love us that deeply.

It’s weird. I had some females who loved me. One to the point she couldn’t let go for yrs. I finally had to be very mean to her just to break the spell so she’d move on.

Yet the one woman I gave my whole heart to loved me; but not completely. Never completely. Here we are. Oh well. I’m a fool. But I’ll stay loyal to my vows. No other woman shall ever touch me. In Gods eyes she is my wife. I’ll wait in Heaven for her when I die. But here on earth I’m just a friend she talks to when she has time. Just a friend who fixes her house. Nothing more. That will have to be enough for me.

But that’s OK. I’m old. Lived my life. Had some wild cool adventures. Just slowing down as the roller coaster comes down that hill one last time.

It’s so funny. I seem to be weakening. So I came here to cleanse my conscious. Instead I see a lot of people hurting & want them to realize we are all special.

Those stars. The beauty around us. All meaningless without intelligent life to look at it & wonder. We are all miracles. It’s a shame for anyone to just throw that away & not try to live it thru to the end.