horny needs

Help .I lost my virginity to myself? Is it wrong to touch yourself?

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I was 14 years old . And my classmates were watching porn in class. Our teacher was absent . I was the lonely bullied girl . Some of them told me how cool these things are and that the popular kids had touched themselves and it had felt good . When i went home I started watching videos and got this weird feeling, so I started touching myself and I penetrated myself with something and I started bleeding. I freaked out so I stopped . I am 19 years old now and I don’t like being touched by other people. Only by myself while fantasizing. After doing this I feel dirty . Is it bad to give in to your horny needs? What will my future partner think of me ?

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