help im so lost

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ive been talking with this girl for about a month and a half now and i genuinely feel something for her but shes so on and off with flirting i honestly dont know if she likes me back or not and its killing me all of my past relationships have been mentally draining and my latest serious relationship left me at the end trying to kill myself she was so manipulative and used me she fucking ruined me im still trying to fix myself over a year later with therapy and its just really fucked up my whole perspective on relationships and trusting anyone in general and i honestly dont know what to do because this girl seems so perfect and i know i wont forgive myself if i fuck it up im so lost my depression mood swings fucking kill me i dont know what to do im so lost

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