I'm in pain, I don't know what do anymore, I find it hard to find full time happiness in whatever i'm doing, whenever I feel a hope of life getting better, life slaps me back
again to the bottom edge of the ground, a lot of hopes and responsibilities are on my shoulder yet I keep failing without knowing what Shall I do, even seeking help
from my loved one made things just worse, I'm lose I don't know what should I do anymore or how can I throw the darkness and sorrow out of my heart, sometimes I
think of the worst things to do but my religion stops me from doing anything reckless, I just want find warmth, happiness in life, I miss the time when I was a kid and my
main goal of life is to play video games or meet my friends back then life was so much easier, now I feel like I'm drowned in my own sadness or depression, I feel
betrayed, lost, failure, empty and most importantly so lonely, the person I gave everything to is just not the same anymore and I tried accepting that fact yet it's so hard
and she's making it harder, when you're in pain you start taking care of people so you don't see them sad, but what shall you do if they became your main source of pain?
let go of all the effort you put for years to work it out? Or keep pressuring yourself to work it out even though you're just blindly fooled with the word love with no
appreciation nor respect, I think that sums up my life with love, to move on to the next chapter of my painful story that led to me being not there anymore, which is
work, unfortunately I'm in place where finding a suitable job is almost impossible, it's all about connections and unfortunately I don't have them, I am working but the
people here are disrespectful, no appreciation for your work or your efforts and eventually they don't pay any shit that worth mentioning, I've went to some interviews
but as usual let's say I failed in all of them, we finished the relationship and career part, before moving to the family part I just want you to know my fellow reader that
i'm summarizing this whole story details are too painful to mention but oh well, my family is facing some issues we are like divided into two teams who are in war but
living together without going through details, my brother hate us and my family hates him, we are a family of 6 people:- the parents and 3 boys including me with 1
sister, you can leave me and my father out of this war as we just want to maintain stability in home as I am the oldest one of the boys but having internal issues effect
the only place that you can call him for real home...
My biggest fear is that my father is retiring soon next Sept. due to age yet we don't know how will be able to afford life or at least make my successful sister and
youngest brother to continue study even though they are the most successful out of us all, how fair life is.
Friends wise I have no issues with them, each one of us is consumed with his own busy life and his own problems we met every week or two, have quality time,
remember when we were happy & young then we go back home to our own misery.
I just felt like writing all this down to get it out of my chest as I don't believe anyone is capable of helping me anymore, I'm far from being helped and I lost all my faith
and happiness in life, I'm just sharing this with tears in my eyes, pain in my chest to ask you my fellow reader to please check for people around you maybe they're in
pain or seeking help, please give them your best, listen to them, help them, maybe you can save them before getting drowned because as a simple human being I don't
want anyone to go through what I'm having, you never know maybe by this letter I can save someone from depression.
Goo luck with you life fellow reader!