So umm where do I even start with this roller coaster of emotions. I’m a 17 year old girl and before this particular incident, I believed that I didn’t know the first thing about love.
Before I met Mya, I faced many internal battles. I’ve struggled with my identity and self-acceptance for majority of my life. I hated that I could never say “I’m lesbian” confidently, out loud. Many things contributed to that but that’s another story for a different time. When I crossed paths with her, I would have never expected the impact she was going to have on my life.
We met due to a program that we both attended. It was super casual at first and it grew into a friendship. Something that I was super attracted to was the way she was vulnerable with me. During our friendship, she showed me every part of her with no shame. I was the complete opposite so this was so astonishing to witness. In a way, it made me feel a sense of security and after so many conversations and time together, I was finally able to open up to her about who I am. She was the first person that I came out to.
These events of course drew us closer and eventually we caught feelings for each other. I was in love with her. She was able to tear my walls down when not even my own family could. She showed me my worth and made me feel valued. She was everything to me, my world.
We were dating on the low and I knew that things were too good to be true. My mom ended up reading all of our text messages and finding out about my sexuality and relationship. As expected, she didn’t approve... she cut off all my ways of communication with Mya. She then had a whole conversation with me about how I am confused and that I don’t know myself.
At this point, I started spiraling into a depression. Days without her presence felt like years. I couldn’t do anything without being reminded of her and getting upset.
Weeks went by and I slowly started to come to the realization that I had no choice but to let go, so I did.
Now I’m in the position where I can reflect on everything that had happened. I learned not to dwell on the past but to learn from your experiences. I learned that it’s okay to be sad but to always move forward. I learned to love myself and be confident in who I am as a person. I learned to not care about what others think because all that matters is my own self perception. Lastly, I learned that people come and go... but my love for them will never erase.