Hey 6 y old me

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When I was 6 I began to feel sad and scared, and I became afraid of kids at school because they teased me about my turrets syndrome. I started avoiding school, got into a lot of trouble with the law. I feel terrible for scaring my mother with this. But the worst feeling of all is when you realize your now scared of your family, they are my world. I was scared they would treat me the same, now im cold, un-social, and dead to the world. Im now 16, what happened to me.

My mom asks me were did my sweet, little girl go?

I say: I really dont know.

It happened so suddenly, no warning or reason. I dont even know whats wrong with me, its like i dont have sympathy, consciousness, or emotion. It all left me then, I can feel my pain but I cant show it.

Iv tried to tell counselors, but I just end up lying to them.

I tell my mother every thing, but I cant explain its like somethings missing from my mind. Shes now 36 and in a lot of pain, i think shes gonna die soon. Shes my world, the day that she leaves this world, im gonna go out with her.

But all of this pails in comparison to watching the warmest, kindest, and funniest person in your life turn cold. I wish id have realized sooner so I could have supported her more. My mother cares too much, this world never deserved her love. I wish I could have protected her more, if only id had the emotion to.