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I would like to tell my story. age 7 i went to foster care. 2014 i turned 8 i was with the austin family in kennewick washington. one day ethan austin got mad at me and his 16 year old sister who i called katie. he got his dads shotgun and shot katie multiple times then himself (you can look it up if you don’t believe me). i fled from the house until cps found me. i didn’t talk the rest of the year. in 5th grade i got a boyfriend. two years older then me, i was 10 he was 12. he was a monster, he made me watch things on the dark web, he would ask me to do sexual things with him, he would sneak in my room when i wouldn’t want him too, he would hit me and my little cousins, he got me involved with bad people. before i knew it i was helping sell drugs at age 11. my boyfriend wouldn’t let me eat and tell me i was fat and hurt me constantly. i still have scars. he ruined me. after a year of that i started 6th grade and broke up with him. he still would bother me showing up at my school. spamming my phone with multiple different numbers and accounts. i was scared. after two more years (8th grade) he finally started leaving me alone and stopped hurting me and my family. i got out of the drug business. got over a addiction to xans. still had some friends i had met there and one day in 8th grade a month ago. i went to a party with these friends. i got raped, by five guys. taylen,landon,xander,kayle,and some other guy. i was pushed against a desk in a room and they took turns making sure nobody came in and then fucking me. holding my head down bending me over and stripping away my dignity. after a while i stopped feeling. like i went numb. i was just a body. i couldn’t feel anything tears just fell and my screams for them to stop turned into whispers. finally they stopped. the worst part was when i told my current boyfriend and he said to not tell anyone because he didn’t want people thinking things or calling me names. my current boyfriend i love him so much. but i just feel like i’ve let him down, especially after a year with him, opening up. and now i feel like all those memories are just hitting me and i flinch and am always stressing and worried. i have tried to kill myself multiple times. i also had a miscarriage in 7th grade summer. with the same boyfriend i have right now. i just feel like nothing ever works out for me. i go places old druggies i knew will pull up on me or try to talk to me. i just don’t feel anymore.