My grandma died in January of 2019 and it has been non-stop fighting ever since between my Mom and her siblings. All are immature and all use their children as weapons to get the others back. Everything I was disciplined for doing as a child with my siblings my Mom and her siblings now do. They have disgraced the memory of their mother by fighting now that she is gone. It is like they waited until she was dead to start fighting. Now it is where I am supposed to hate my Mom's two sisters because they have not engaged in all the drama my mother wants to have surrounding it. Meanwhile, my Mom is mad that I speak to my uncle's children not because he is an enemy but because his ex-wife is an enemy for being mean to him back when we liked him. Now we all are supposed to hate him like his ex but I still have to hate his ex and their kids because they pulled away from him when he was still a good guy in our eyes. I am allowed to be nice to his older son from his 1st marriage sometimes, but only when others approve. My one aunt's two kids we have to hate with passion because we are supposed to hate their mother. Well their mother tells them the same and so they hate us. Meanwhile uncle's exes kids were starting to soften to us after hating us for their mother for years and since their Dad is an alcoholic so it is somehow out fault. Meanwhile the other aunt we are allowed to just dislike since she was the closest. We are barred from liking her but we don't have to hate her. Her son is an only child and autistic so we are allowed to be nice to him. The other brother basically said "fuck it, I am getting away from you crazies" and moved away with his son. He is the only sane one. So how do I break all this shit up so we can be close again like we were when my grandma was alive. For years every Sunday was at Belle Haven Country Club and we kids would laugh and play with our cousins. Every holiday was together and people would bring their in-laws. As the grandparents got older and people spread out we didn't get together as often but when we did it was full of laughter and fun. Meanwhile, the adults were getting more and more tense with each other. Aunt Linda took in Aunt Sue's daughter who Aunt Sue had turned on. Aunt Sue hated Aunt Linda for this because Aunt Linda really liked the daughter of Aunt Sue and Aunt Sue hated her daughter (yes Aunt Sue's own daughter). So they were at war over that. Meanwhile, Uncle Bill is an alcoholic and his wife after years of problems and she is also an alcoholic. Yet, we condemn her for getting a divorce even despite other rumors. So their kids we curse as bad guys since they are closer to their mother whose drinking is not nearly as severe. Uncle Tommy said "fuck it, I am leaving" and packed up and took his son and they moved far away and visit one week a year at Thanksgiving. His son Michael is on the Autistic Spectrum and aged 20 so they travel the country I guess for life (Tommy is retired). Michael's mother died when he was a baby. So that is the family. My mother hates everyone. She is the bitter daughter because she took care of her mother when she was dying and feels no one helped so she is mad at everyone which makes all of them turn on her. My mother likes to play martyr. She did this when I was a kid regarding her divorce and like wise she demanded I hate who she hate and so she turned me against my Dad. This is what I begrudge her for all these years later. So I am left grieving not just my grandmother but an entire family destroyed by the selfish child-like behavior of my Mom and aunts and one uncle. I wish I could write to each and tell them what selfish fuckers they are but they will know it is me writing it. Any ideas? When I was a kid I am sure there were tensions I was not aware of but they were not this crazy. Aunt Sue hating her own daughter, really? Unheard of.