So, it's a long story which I've not told anybody because whenever I try to tell them(few of my friends), I get a feeling that they are not understanding me completely/ judging me/ they want me to behave normal/ in a perfect way...which I'm not. Actually ,I'm going to become a doctor some day, which is quite amazing, I know! But during this process, I got to learn so many things about different kinds of people, their different behaviors...also while living with family, I got to experience some days when my parents won't let me hang out with my friends, they did't trust me at all, they used to fight a lot! All those things led to the days when I used to cry a lot! Like seriously, a lot!!! In fact, those crying spells continued for so long. I had to figure out a way to handle my emotions all by myself as I had noone to share those things. So, I started writing in a diary, even written few poems. That helped me a bit. But still, I didn't heal completely. Then, the next step which I took was the worst decision of my life. I thought that why not I spend my time on my phone so that...that particular day would come to an end and I wouldn't have to feel those things again. At that time, it felt like a perfect solution. Until it started having bad impact on me. Yes,I was addicted to phone. I used to use it for hrs and hrs until the day end. Few months later, all these things started affecting on my mental and physical health. The guilt inside of me felt like a huge load on my chest. I wish that no one should feel that way anytime in their life. It's a very horrible feeling! And feeling guilty for months can tear all your pieces. I felt the same. Due to that guilt, I started consuming sugar a lot and started overeating. It affected my physical health...about which I can't provide all the details here. So, the guilt had become a part of my routine. I used to get up, go to college, come back home, tried to study for a bit, but ended up using phone. I'm telling you, I had barely passed my exams. Why? Because, I was down by my emotions but still had a brain which had helped me during those times. My point is that, even though my phone addiction has reduced now, but I want to end it completely! I want to feel free as a bird! I want to feel that freedom! During these lockdown days, I felt that I had a relapse.But still, I'm trying and trying. I've tried today as well! I have so many things to do related to studies but here I am....stuck in between! I just want this to end completely so that I can give all of my focus towards studies and excel in it!Any suggestions are most welcome:)