I think I'm developing issues with anxiety. I've had it for quite a long time, but it isn't bad to the point where I need help. I don't have the courage to tell anyone about it.I try to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I look. But why is it difficult? Why can I not laugh without feeling guilty about it?I feel like I'm constantly being pushed away, but in reality that's not the case. I'm very privileged and I'll always remember that. But, why do I feel like I'm not fit to survive here? Everyone is rushing but no one puts in the time to actually think about others.Why do people care about my knowledge? Why do I have to be better than everyone? Why can't anyone accept me for being ME?I'm supposed to be the responsible one and when I finally say something, people say I'm over reacting about it. I've developed fears over minute things, yet when I tell someone they don't take it seriously.When I lay in bed trying to fall asleep all I can think about is the things I haven't finished. Why am I being so hard on myself? Whenever I feel like I perfected something I always get the feeling that there is always someone who is better than me.Why can't I be happy? Why is it hard to love myself?I just want the hope that there is someone watching over me. That one day when I sleep all I'll think about is love. Not pain. Not regret. Not guilt. But LOVE.Because love is all that I want.I want to be able to embrace my flaws with the conscience that everyone will accept them too. It's getting hard to breath these days and I just wish it wasn't that way. I feel so lonely. People are moving on and I'm stuck. It's like a circle. I end my day where I started it.I'm the only one I'm supposed to love in this world. Someone please help me love myself.