After a separation it takes quite some time and all your money before you realize that you're broke, helpless and depressed. It took me a little more than a month. The first few weeks I spent hoping or desperately wishing that he would come back while hopelessly looking for ways to make money to support myself and my son now that we've been abandoned and financially crippled. Three months before he left, I had to resign from my job due to health reasons. Now my savings are dwindling and I see no hope in the horizon. I am seriously considering suicide as a solution to my problem. My insurance would cover my burial expenses and what's left of my savings could help my son for a few months until he finds a job. He'd have one less mouth to feed. I would be better off gone before I start becoming a burden. A large chunk of our expenses go to my meds and that's another problem solved when I'm gone. For someone my age and my health issues, finding a job is next to impossible. I use free wifi and even back when I had a job I rarely top up my prepaid phone credits so how can a suicide hotline help when in my country, you'd have to have money to even call them? Maybe having a job would give me back my confidence and self worth and ultimately help dig me out of this depression but would the suicide hotline people give me a job? I seriously doubt it.