What do you usually do when you have thoughts of killing yourself? I have been a victim of different kinds of abuse throughout my life that it made me sensitive, naive, and helpless all at the same time. I'm not blaming people (those who have met me or my family and friends) for doing so and being what they are toward me. I know there is something unflattering about me, must be my choices in life, as to why they treat me like I don't matter. Most of the time I wish to fall asleep and not wake up. I don't care at this point what they will think. I am selfish of thinking and feeling this way, I know. But most nights and days, everything looks blank. I feel poor and hungry even though I have enough to keep my physical self alive. Is this me being guilty for being alive and being part of people's lives? Or am I just overreacting?