I need this space to vent. I've been bottling up my emotions for too long and if I don't vent here I'll probably say it to his face. So the thing that drove me to write here? He got a new job as the previous one he had he hated, and he's taking a two week break in between. He doesn't start until next Monday and is already throwing 'what-if' scenarios in my face. Like, what if this is more of a sales job than a training one? What if they want me to travel? What if the commute is longer than I thought? And I'm like, you haven't even started yet, why can't you wait and see what happens? I get it, you don't want to work a standard office job, but I can't carry both of us financially. We already tried that once and it didn't work. Like, I wish we could afford for you to work on your creative stuff all the time and not work, but it's not realistic. You say you want to do these creative endeavours, but then you slack off all day playing games online, then play with friends in the evening. We both WFH, and his work is such that he needs to be available for periods of time, but during those hours he can basically do whatever online if he's not actively on a call. So, he could spend his time on those efforts, he just doesn't. My work is more flexible so I can pop out to do the shop, run some laundry, play with the cats, etc. BUT, I have a ton of meetings every day, and manage several projects at once. So it ends up that I am always the one who does the shop, takes the car in, makes the cats' vet appts, brings them to the vet, deals with the gardeners, the packages that come to the door... When his work day is done, he plops on the couch until game time, then I don't see him between 6pm-11pm almost every night. That leaves me to make dinner, water the yard, feed the cats, etc., etc., etc. The place is always cluttered, dishes take WEEKS to get done, and when I try to bring this up he beats himself up, saying stuff like, 'I get it, I'm the a$%hole. I suck, I'm terrible at everything..' ad nauseum. When he complains about (old) job, I would commiserate, but he'd work himself into a self-hating spiral about how he's worthless, and nothing he does amounts to anything, and how he's just a failure. Then I spend the next several hours talking him down, reminding him I love him, and that he wouldn't speak to others that way so why do it to himself, gently suggesting talking to a professional, and so on. I've created chore lists to try and help. I've acquiesced about the house when he says he's so tired (he's always too tired). I tried to let things just be to see if he can gather his energy to get stuff done on his terms/time, but nothing gets done. He'll use a screwdriver and leave it lying on the floor, he'll say he'll do the dishes 'tomorrow', but they've been there for two weeks, the floors haven't been swept in a month. The list is almost endless. I cannot carry the house on my own. I've been patient and understanding, but dealing with him day in and day out is exhausting. I'm so resentful right now and I hate it. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.