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I am bulimic and i am dying slowly

Anything i eat i purge it due to the guilt and i cant seem to recover.No one knows i am bulimic and everything hurts.Sometimes i wonder is this what life is supposed to be,filled with regrets and choice.The world is just a blurry mess.Sometimes i wish people knew how sick i am,but at the same time i dont want them to see me in that state.I know i am sick and i am trying my best to recover but its very hard.Everytime i try it just springs back like a magnet. There are times when i want to scream on top of my lungs but i cant.Each day i get tried trying to recover. My relation with food gets worse each day.No one really knows that and when people tell me that i look thin it just triggers it even more. No one really knows how bad it has got because when people see me all they have seen is that i love food even my parents,and soemtimes i just really want to end this cycle but there are also times when i dont want to .I really want to recover but its really hard ,everytime i consume food it makes me guilty.I really cant tell anyone that i have an eating disorder becuase if i tell anyone then all they see when they look at me is that im sick and i have to tried to hide my emotions for as long as i can and i am not guving up that front .This has been bugging me really to tell this to someone but i really havent had the courage so i decided to write this down.Has this made me feel better maybe not.But i am trying.

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Re: I am bulimic and i am dying slowly

Please tell someone. Sometimes it's hard to face telling a real person, but I want you to enjoy everything in life. You are not alone. Please don't feel guilty because it doesn't help, guiltiness does no good in the world, repentance does, but you have nothing to be sorry for. Please get help because it isn't time for you to go. I hope you recover quickly.