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I am depressed!

I always had this urge to divert my mental pressure to something else and cutting skin always comes to my mind like small layer not deep enough to cause me any problem but am scared of pain so I never tried that.now a days I feel like let's leave everything and run..then I realized what am gonna do out there without any degree I can't find any job I still need to finish my studies..then I decided to run after I finish my studies I got three more years until run..its been week since my mind is full of suicidal thoughts like I can't wait to run.. I want to leave this shitty life no one is going to miss me anyway.i find myself researching about how deep my artery is..how much concentrated my bathroom cleaner are. Driving recklessly came in my mind too then I thought that will be painful I want to die but got no courage to do so.