i am absolutely tired of living. i can't and don't want to do this anymore. i feel like an absolute failure. my friends are cool and have lots of other friends, so they don't actually need me. i have 4 other siblings, so my family doesn't actually need me. i am ugly and unable to love myself. no matter how much i try, i fail. i hate myself. i can't talk with people in my life about this, cause i don't want to be a burden for them and i also know they won't believe me. i don't want to die, but i don't want to live either. i feel so lost and empty. i am a dissapointmeny for. i feel worthless. idc about my future. idc about anything no more. i think i need help, but i also don't want it.