i unfortunately have inherited quite the amount of mental disorders.. crippling anxiety, major depression, ADHD, ADD. I ran out of my meds. all of my excuses always are because of my mental disorders. i know the people around me are annoyed by how high maintenance i am. but everyone around me is so selfish. my guardian never cared for me. they care for themselves and their happiness more than my own. all i want is to be held and told i’ll okay. such a simple thing most kids receive. i didn’t get that.. i got crying myself to sleep bc mommy and her husband are fighting. i got bad grades bc my brain is broken. i got uncontrollable crying and hopeless motivation. i’m so tired of going “it’s bc of my depression.” why couldn’t i just have been one of the ones to be born with a caring.. normal family? why was i born to suffer? i don’t want to die but i have no idea how i’m supposed to live this way. i’m unhappy. the one i love is trying and i know they are. but it’s just not enough. it’s never enough to keep me happy. if i tell them that, they’ll leave. i sit there a point oht everything wrong with the person i’m talking to bc i know if i focus on what’s wrong with me i’m afraid i’ll want to die. i don’t want to go down that path, it’s a selfish path and all my life i’ve been trying to hard to prove to everyone around my i’m everything but selfish. i just keep telling myself once i up the dosage i’ll be okay.. but relying on pills instead of the ones i love most just hurts.. bc i know the pills do a hundred times more than anyone else.. i asked my guardian to sign me up for therapy. i don’t know if i’ll ever be happy.