I am tired. I wake up at 2 or 3am thinking about you 952 and can’t go back to sleep. I cannot share this with anyone because they would not understand so I lay awake thinking to myself that I will always be alone in my thoughts even though I want to share and discuss. When did marriage transition from being a relationship where we are able to share your deepest thoughts and emotions to keeping secrets to protect each other’s feelings? I thought when I got married that I could share everything with her that we would be as one, we would understand and help each other but after sharing my feelings for you I realized that I was wrong, I could not share everything it hurt her too much and that in turn hurt me. Then I met you and I thought that you were different that I could share everything with you, all my thoughts feelings and desires, but even in you it appears that I was mistaken, it hurts you to know that I still have feelings for her. So here I am awake at 3 thinking about the women that I love and how sad I am that I cannot share my feelings with either of them. Is there a partner out there that I could share my thoughts with and would not be hurt if they did not center on her every second of every day? I think that may be too much to ask of any woman. I never wanted to hurt either of you and the only way that I know how to do that is to keep my thoughts to my self and never share my true feelings. Only share the parts of me that make her or you happy. I am sad that this is my conclusion because it means that I will never be able to share my entire self with anyone and I am only loved for the parts of me that make my partner happy. Life may good, even great but I am alone in my thoughts and I miss you 952. I will love you always 952.