I haven't enjoyed my life in years. I don't have anything to look forward to. Everything I've tried to do to fix myself has only ever left me worse than before. People have been cruel to me but I've always tried to be kind. To put some little piece of goodness back into the world so someone doesn't have to feel like me. Sometimes I've failed. Sometimes I've been cruel. But I've always tried. I am so tired. I have nothing left to give and every day I find myself becoming an angrier and emptier person. I don't have the strength to pull myself out of this and the people in my life now make me feel weaker by the day. I am tired. My eyes are sunken and I want to sleep. If I could find myself some wild place and live out the rest of my days, just myself and my dog, I think could be happy. There's no such place. I am so tired.