i cant

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I have this thoughts in my head that I wish something really bad happened to me physically.

Like a car crash or idk something like that so it will make my parents and friends care about me.

I would see how much they care (if they do) and how much they love.

That thoughts never leave my mind.

i won’t do anything cuz i am afraid i wont be able but i want that i want to see their love.

I want to see them care .

I dont know what else to do . i want everyone say that they love me and care about me and show that in actions daily.

But no one does that ever.

Whenever i ask for hugs like more than 2 times a day for example my parents they just start going mad and so on.

And i Cant even ask for hugs from friends cuz i feel like one of them doesn’t really like hugs and the other is always busy when it comes to me.

i dont wanna do this anymore i feel so tiny and alone sometimes its great but at the end of the day it gets worse.

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