I can't do it anymore. Everything is building up again and I can't fucking deal with it. I want to cry, and scream and put my head through a fucking wall but I can't... I feel nothing. There's nothing inside of me. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I want to stop my meds. I don't want to get out of bed tomorrow. I have plans to see my parents but it's going to be hard to see them knowing that I've put them through so much with the self harm and suicide attempts when I was living with them. Now I'm at a unit and I still can't cope. I don't even have the motivation to kill myself anymore. I just want to lay here on the floor and rot. I want to disappear, feel nothing, do nothing, remember nothing, be gone. I'm scared to die because I don't know what comes next, and I don't want to end up experiencing my life again, or starting a new one. It's not just this life that I don't want to live, it's any life. I just don't want to live, wether I'm happy or sad. I can't do it. I want to disappear. I want to stop existing. I want to go.