a month ago
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i cant forgive my dad

me and my dad have a rough relationship, and have since i was little. one of my earliest memories of him is him telling me that i would never be successful or achieve anything worth while. i was around 5, maybe 6, and those words have stuck with me ever since.he’s got a short temper, and frequently says things that upset me. he always knows exactly what to say to hurt you. he makes me feel weak and defenseless- like im inferior compared to him. but he also makes me angry. like really fucking angry. he’s incredibly misogynistic, and frequently makes comments that either make me feel uncomfortable or really irritate me. growing up, he’s caused a lot of appearance related issues for me, due to his narrow minded and objectifying view of women. he also frequently makes politically disgusting comments about sensitive issues that he KNOWS will wind me up. and everything he does just IRRITATES ME. but recently, hes tried to be better. he’s trying not to piss me off on purpose as much and control his temper. but now, its ME that is the problem. im the one who gets irritated with him for no reason. who “hurts” him. he frequently says that i upset him because “you never hug me and dont want to spend time with me”. truth is, i dont hug him much. i dont feel comfortable doing so because of how he’s spoken ab women- and about me- in the past. im almost scared of him. and i dont like spending time with him, because HES SO ANNOYING. i cant forgive him.

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a month ago

Re: i cant forgive my dad

It happens... What we see and hear right from our childhood.. it just gets fixed in our minds and hearts whether knowingly or unknowingly. It changes our whole perception towards that particular person or thing.

I too got hurt since childhood and it has now been a part of my life. Even today when everything's fine i just don't feel any difference. It's just the same.

But i think even if we can't change the feeling, we can atleast forgive that person coz we don't know what the person himself went through to act in such tough manner. And i wish healing for all.

I can relate heavily to this. My dad broke my nose when I was 4 and it’s now always crooked. He killed my pets and he always says hurtful comments and laughs about it. He is 30 years older than my mum and honestly I’m not sure why they are still together. I can’t leave since I’m a minor but my brother is almost 18 so I could stay with him. It’s like my dad doesn’t care for us. He isn’t part of the family and he always shouts at us. He tells me off for no reason and sometimes he hits me. I just feel like he deserved to die. Sometimes I want to kill him. I wan this blood shed. I want him to bleed, to suffer and to be in pain for the rest of his life. I want him gone, one way or another.

Hey, someday, try telling him this. Tell him how you really feel. If he is truly trying to make an effort to make his and your relationship as father and daughter, better. Then he should know this. Help him out a little and tell him that ever since you were 5, you remember what he said and it hurted your feelings. Tell him that if you and him are going to have a better relationship then he needs to encourage you, not bring you down. Even suggest a sincere apology about that statment that hurted you. Even if its too late or you feel you can't accept his apology. Just say, 'thank you,' and forgive for your own sake and never forget. If he gets angry to the point you think he might hurt you. Get somewhere safe, call someone you trust or the police. If he just gets angry, try to coroperate. If he doesnt, then, dont make any more attempts, let him do the attempting. You said your peace and made your efforts. Now just get to 18. Then move out and start your own, independent life! Btw, Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of courage for someone to share this even if it is anonymous. So thanks!