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I can't hold on anymore.

Just turned 13 but

I feel sick. I'm a girl, 13. My parents aren't the most rich, so they bought me a skateboard off of Amazon. I love it so much, but my friend has an expensive phone, everything shes wanted. It makes me so upset but I'm grateful for what I have. I hate my body too. I have so much arm hair and my legs are fat. I'm thin in the upper half, but my legs are so big. I cant wear tight clothes nor dress the way I want to. I just feel like I wont last. I font want to do school, yet I have a dream. I want to talk to someone but I cant tell someone I know my problems. I have always been the happy and outgoing person. Not the insecure one. I cry every night. I cant do anything I cant function. I do not have depression nor anxiety. My parents wont understand my situation. Thanks for reading.

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Re: I can't hold on anymore.

So glad to hear ya have a dream! Thats gonna see ya thru these major changes your body IS and WILL BE going thru. Your Hormonal Maturity is just now beginning and for every girl 13-17 "YOU" see as ,having it all together,under control, having the "normal" body, I can 100% garuantee you , they do NOT see themselves that way. Some will come off like they're superior and having the flashy clothes, expensive jewelry,going outta their way to HIDE in themselves, what THEY judge being "faulty" in others. Especially those less fortunate, and by NO means do I mean LIFE. Ive ALWAYS found that those, grateful for what they have, no matter how trivial it may seem to others, make the BEST friends, turn out to be the ppl you can most count on, and have your back when it counts. This friend that gets everything she wants..I would be willing to bet 1000$ that YOU are a better friend to her, than shes EVER been to you? Girl, your STILL that happy go lucky people person. Your gonna find that out when all these chemicals SCRRREAMIN at ya, finally quiet down. Your insecurity, right now, is perfectly normal.Other girls may better at putting up a fascade, covering for their insecurity, and may have many fooled,but once you start living by the "fascade" it will have bound/gagged/ hooked like a drug.... you cant escape. Your whole existence will now have to be a constant reliance on falsities/ cover ups. THAT doesnt sound like you at all? Its normal for ya to want to wear clothes that make ya feel good about yourself. But ,ya always have to be careful about what they may SAY about you? And usually you wont be told in that act of "saying" it will a judgement and you'lll recieve this "SAY" in the way your TREATED....And often times, behind you back.. Give your body a chance to get thru these stages of growth. Nothing will likely be the "same" about the things you mention.OMG! I have actually CHOKED on food LOL seeing 2-3 girls I knew in Jr high 4-5 yrs later , after going to diff highschools, how they blossomed out from geeky gangly, all legs/ feet and head at 13-14, to well "proportioned" beautiful young lady's.Your gonna get there!!! AND, that statement about loving this new skateboard, and being grateful for hardworking parents, who likely know the TRUE value of a dollar, buying it for you...Tells me your gonna have the ball already rollin on that DREAM and people proud to call you friend! Your "friend" at 17-18?.. Dont see happiness in her future.All the I phones/ LIKES on the gram/ even loving ppl that come into their life, treating them like gold cant fill their bottomless pit...I hope Im wrong for her sake. Nothing wrong with crying... It gets rid of pent-up emotion and its toxic "waiste". Parents can help, but often times teens (including ME MANY yrs ago.LOL) see them as the warden of the prison they're in..LOL (cant be objective). Even when they REALLY TRY!...LOL...Oh!!! ever see the movie 13 going on 30? Its killer! I think you'd like it. Please give yourself permission to be a normal developing teen, with ALL ITS HANGUPS, MOODY SPELLS, "Normal" insecurities and keep that dream in focus so it can flourish when all these necessary changes mold you into the fine young woman I know you'll be! Can you promise me that?