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I cheated and feel alive again.

My boyfriend of a few years has been lying to be about his Porn Addiction.

He calls it that, so please don't assume I'm just some bitter girlfriend. Throughout the course of our relationship, I have been faithful, followed the rules and been the sweet girlfriend watching the world go by as I'm standing behind, cheering him on.

When we met much younger, I was this shy, quiet girl. Fast forward to college, and well, I'm a raging feminist.

He finally confessed he never really worked on "fixing" that addiction. It felt like a slap in the face to me, I would occasionally ask about, he would deny it. I feel like searching his phone is a violation, so I just don't.

For months I've been harboring this uncomfortable itch, knowing that I am not anything like the girls on Pornhub.

It bugged me, and I finally gave in and hooked up with someone. It was liberating.

Before this hookup, I had only ever had sex with boyfriend.

I don't know what to do, I just need to think before I act.

But what I needed the most was someone to tell.

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Re: I cheated and feel alive again.

Maybe it was the excitement that made you want to do it. Maybe your boyfriend wants something else and that’s why he turns to porn. It could also be something different. Cheating isn’t good but sometimes it makes you realize that the person you are with isn’t something you want. It could be anything. Do you still want to stay with your boyfriend? If he isn’t willing to tell you why he does the things you do then maybe there is something he is hiding and maybe you need to check his phone🤷🏽‍♀️