What I did when I was young is personally and probably likely unforgivable for anyone. I was young at the time, so I didn't think about this. Didn't know what the consequences could've been. I hardly remember it, but it still haunts me either way. I had just discovered porn at the time and I was beginning to go through the motions of puberty and though I wasn't a teen yet I was still discovering it.. so After some videos of watching it I coerced my younger sister somehow into coming into my bedroom and I tried to do somethings. I didn't penetrate on any of the holes and ultimately gave up, but I am so sick with myself and I just want to suffer because of what I did to her or what I tried to do. Every day, I believe I deserve every ounce of pain and despair that comes to me from the bottom of my heart and I almost just want to give up and not try to make myself better because I know this is what I get, this is my punishment, and I absolutely deserve every second of it. I just want someone out there to know what I've done and know that I deserve any hatred but at the same time I'm wishing that someone would please tell me what I can do to right this because she doesn't seem to recall any specific memories of the old house and that someone could tell me that it's going to be okay and that I'm not beyond saving or trying to fix this, but I know deep down inside that back then - whether I knew it or not - I deserve my fate here and now. If you yell and scream at me, that's fine. I deserve it.. I just had this false hope.I'd like to say I am sorry to you - the reader - for making my scummy life known.I want to say sorry to my sister for what I have done and not answering for it.Have a good night.