I don't feel like it

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I wasn't alright a couple of years ago. Then I thought I was alright for a couple of years. But now I just have this constant pain in my whole body ( sore body, hearthbreak feeling , tension, headache ) I don't want to suffer more. I know eventually everything will get better . But what if I don't feel like feeling how I'm feeling right now for a couple of months or year. I don't wanna disappoint anyone . Or leave and traumatize people. But I'm honestly not feeling good at all. I don't feel like crying or yelling . I just don't feel like I'm meant to be . I have no one to talk. No one understands . I don't wanna scare anyone . I wish I could just disappear.

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