I just want to give up. Everyday I wake up and I feel nothing, it’s like my mind and body is rejecting all emotions everything is dull. My grandma just passed away and I never grieved like obviously I’m sad but I should be crying hard because I loved her so much. There are cracks of it where I’ll be reminded of something and I can’t stop crying but then my body goes full lock down. I can’t feel anything. I have small moments of joy but they’re still so fucking dull and I can’t take it. I just want to feel literally anything I want to cry until I can’t breathe and my face is all puffy, I want to be so happy so cheeks and chest hurt, I want to be angry at everything. But I fuckinh can’t and I hate myself for not I don’t know what’s wrong. I look at people who I’ve known for years and they feel like strangers, I look I’m the mirror and I don’t even recognize myself. It’s like I’m not in the right body, that these memories aren’t mine, this face and body isn’t mine. How does someone keep living like this.