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i don’t know

i don’t know what to do anymore. i feel so helpless. i can’t even talk to my friends about it anymore because it’s so stupid. i hate myself so much it hurts. and i know my friends and family love me but that just makes me hesitant to talk to them about it. because they love me, so why should i hurt them by putting myself down all the time. i don’t know why i don’t like myself, so i don’t know how to fix it. and nothing i do lately makes me happy for very long. i just want to go back, before i became so anxious about everything, before i started disliking the person i am. i don’t want to die, it’s not like that, i just. don’t want to burden people anymore. i don’t want to feel this way anymore. it hurts so much. what do i do...