I feel like a disappointment, a disgrace to the family. I went from a straight A student all F’s and D’s. I have anger issues and don’t have anything to help with them. My parents make me stay up so late working and then in the morning they yell at me to work again. I barely get any sleep and eat barely anything. Most mornings I barely have enough energy to get up. I really want to just lay down and never wake up. When I do eat a normal meal I get call fat because I eat so much but that’s because I barely eat. I’m also extremely scared of getting yelled at or getting hit. I’m not allowed to go outside until all of my homework is done which I understand but they make my do assignments from months ago. They then tell me to ask for help but when I do they yell at me to ask the teacher but I’m terrified of the teacher. They always call me dramatic and I really second guess myself if it’s all my fault and I am overreacting or not. They always told me to suck it up and move on but it’s gotten so unbearable recently that I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to suck it up. Im also pansexual and my dad has negative reactions towards LGBTQ+ and people of color. I’m scared to tell him. I don’t even know my grandparents views on them. The only reason I haven’t hurt my self yet is because I’m scared of getting yelled at. My two sisters don’t even like me, and my other two sisters forgot I even exist because I haven’t seen them in 2 years.