i dont know what i can really say to describe the way im feeling. im at the point where the only reason i havent killed myself yet is because my cat wouldnt know where i went. ive got my family convinced everything is fine, that im getting better, but im not. i just want this off my chest, and i dont really have anyone i know personally who i feel comfortable speaking about this to. and im not sure i really want to speak to someone i know anyway. ive gotten comfortable in being sad, and being secretive about being sad.