So.. um.... I am a girl born Arab and Muslim. I masterbate to yaoi manhwa and manga and as ashamed as I am to say it I watch Hentia and get off on that too. Religious and cultural wise I'm not supposed to be doing that at all. Like no masterbation at all. This applies to guys as well, Religion wise. But my dumb ass culture says that if a guy masterbates its fine, a guy will always be a guy. If he sleeps with people outside of marriage it's OK forgive him. He is a man what can he do. But oh no if a girl where to do that she would be disowned by her family and Called a slut. My religion gives the same punishment and sins for both guy and girl if they sleep with people they are not married to, masterbate , or/and watch/read NSFW material. The "virgin girl" thing that is Arab men are obsessed is because of my stupid culture and had nothing to do with my religion at all. Not only that, I fucking hate the fact that I cant marry unless my parents choose him. I Would not have minded of my parents were like me but they are not. My mom keeps on bringing people who don't know one ounce of English not only that the last one that I was engaged to was selfish, needy, and misogynistic. Not is not like she wants me to not be happy, she loves me with all her heart and all she wants is me to be happy and married. And to her that mean a man who is a Born and raised Arab who is also low-key related to me. Most Arab men believe that the wife stays home takes care of his whole entire fucking family. His Mother, father, his brothers and sisters. At the same time take care of his food needs, bed needs, clean after him all at the same time. only being allows to visit her family 1 2 times a month anything more she is seeing her family to much. The men are pampered while the women have to cook, clean, and wash after the men and they still got the Udacity to tell their wife that she has to ask permission to leave the house. Excuse me , last time I checked u are the one being fed not only that u can't even cook or do ur own damn laundry treating me like a baby when u are more like the baby. Not only this all that u are doing is giving me 20 bucks a week while u spen 100 on urslef in a day. Theb that man will say he is the one paying the bills. Well that is ur fault u won't let me get a job. I'll gladly pay for my self. But guess what if I get a job,that means I won't need u anymore. That also means that I'll leave ur sorry ass and live comfortably by myself. Fuck u. I've been 2 relationships so far and both men were Fabricating their personalities just to get to my passport. They thought because I'm a girl, I'm weak and no matter how shittty their personalities were I wouldn't leave. But guess what I left their fucked up asses as soon as I saw the first red flag. They are grown ass adults and fully understand what they are doing. I got no time for that shit. The first one I was 18 and he was 27. The second one I was 19 and he was 26. See what I mean. They are men. As a girl I was expected to act like and adult as soon as I turned 14 because "girls get married at that age" but a 26/27 year old man can simply act like a child get high, dunk, and do drugs. But the elders will say 'if you are good enough u can make him change.' Ummmm excuse me sir/mam no, I'm not getting married to someone that I know is worth less than bullshit and hope for the best if he decides to change. When did my culture get so fucked up. Rn I'm fighting my family with the words of my religion and I know they cant say a damn thing because who can argue with religion . Talking about" but that is not how we do things, people will judge" you know what makes me laugh the most when. They tell me I'm to Americanized When all the facts that I say is pulled straight out my holy book. Like stfu yall know I'm right. Unlike most Arab family I am luck to be born into one that is a little bit open minded. I've been changing their minds to get put of this toxic culture and actually learn what our religion says. It's slow but I feel like I will find peace.