im going through something no child should ever go through. my family is so toxic. my parents smoke in our bathroom everyday and i have to go to school smelling like cigarettes jusy because i need to brush my teeth. they also drink everynight, my mom had a beer belly. she also is taking melatonin which is fine but it says on the bottle that if you take it with alcohol it can ruin your memory, which it is because she forgets stuff alot. she also once pulled out a knife on me and threatened to cut her wrists (while she was drunk of course) and she also told me to kill myself. she also uses very traumatic things that happened to me against me in arguments, and it hurts. i feel like im being emotional abused and it’s embarrassing that i dont think im gonna have a good childhood looking back because she doesnt let me live, im not aloud to go anywhere because she thinks im lying. one of the most common things she argues about is how she does all the dishes and the laundry and feeds us and yeah sure maybe she needs help but what she doesnt realize is that those are the bare necessities for raising a child. i feel like i dont even have a mother. i dont even know how to deal with affection anymore because i dont get it from my own mother. i love her to death but shes also the one person whos hurting me the most. she always jokes abt me living in the basement because i dont wanna move away from my mama, but once i turn legal im getting as far aways as possible as quick as i can. i used to self harm and when i told her she said “thats the kind of thing you do for attention” that hurt me. also one time this guy threatened to send my nudes out, she called me a slut and said that i wasnt her daughter anymore, all i needed that day was her comfort.