I dont know what to do

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I just recently attempted suicide and i cant get over it i spent about a week and a half in a psychiatric hospital but i still sometime want to end my life and school is the biggest part of this feeling i just want to leave it all behind plus i cant spend more than an hour focusing on school without want to die i usually love it but recently its just been a reminder of what i did and it makes me feel awful. i keep lyin to my mom about being fine but im not im in so much pain but i mask everything to the point where even i dont even realize it until its too late, until i stare a a bottle of pills and have an urge to take them all. I now understand when people say they don't want to die but rather take the pain away. School is literally killing me and im too scared to tell anybody.

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