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i dont know what to do.

i feel so lost like when ever my parents get mad it feels like they don't love me and always say “you’d rather be at your grandmas or at (my biological dad)s house. and it just makes me feel so much worse than I do even when they say they love me it doesn’t feel like it. I just want to be a normal teenager and have fun and do sports but my relationship with my parents is so terrible and i wouldn’t say abusive but mentally abusive toward me. I just have these moments where i just break down and want to give up but never know how to explain it. i always tell myself lifes too short to be sad, but is it really? or am i just being overdramatic. i have a lot of friends but i just always dont feel like i fit. i struggle with self confidence and im overall just so insecure and i dont know what to do and i cant tell anyone i know because i dont want to put it on them or feel like it helps at all.