I want to kill myself. I have a deep desire for connection, and seemingly no outlet. I'm severely introverted and depressed, but I put on a facade and I'm generally a pretty likable dude. at least I used to think so.
I have been reaching out to people to no avail. the only people I can rely on are my dad and my therapist. my sister is kind, but extremely unreliable. I thought I had a couple of friends who I could connect with, but they are hanging out with each other and then lying to me that they're too busy to do anything, or they slept in, or whatever. I literally want to kill myself, and everyone is too busy to have a conversation, or even answer a text.
I don't know what to do. the people in my life are selfish and unreliable, and there are no other opportunities for connection that seen available to me. I feel like I can't be happy without connection, and I don't want to live if I can't be happy, and connection isn't available for me.