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I don’t know what to do

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 years now, but early on in the relationship she went on holiday with her friend and a few weeks after she got back I saw a message from her friend saying ‘are you going to tell him?’ To which she then replied ‘No, there’s no point hurting him over a silly mistake’ (or something like that, it was a while ago!)

I then obviously questioned her about it but she told me that the message was just a joke and her friend was messing about. I obviously had my doubts but I trusted her.

Fast forward a few years and she starts getting friendly to this guy in work, which I didn’t mind because she worked in a small group and they were all quite friendly with each other. Then out of nowhere they stop talking completely and both got different jobs. So I start thinking was there something going on? And then of course I start overthinking the message her fiend sent her years ago. So one night I looked through her messages (I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t take the overthinking) and there’s texts between her and her friend about this guy, things like ‘I feel like I’ve messed him about’ ‘there are worse things you could have done’ etc. I obviously then asked about all of this and what’s going on, and she tells me that he said that he loved her but nothing happened between them and she stopped talking to him, but obviously the messages don’t match up with the fact that he just said that he loved her e.g. ‘there’s worse things you could have done’ Anyway, call me gullible but I believed her. I know a lot of people reading this will think that I’m stupid and she’s obviously cheated on me, but we’ve been together for years and she just doesn’t seem like the type of person that would do that at all. we’ve talked about the future loads, we’re even saving for a house and everything but I can’t stop thinking about all of this. Also a side note. we were together the whole time she was in university (we still saw each other nearly every night) and she had the nickname ‘the bucking bronco’ and every time I asked about that she said she doesn’t know why her friends call her that.

Am I just being gullible?

ive asked her about it before and she’s denied it but I’m not sure if I believe her, I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

what would you do?

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Re: I don’t know what to do

My wife cheated on me early in our relationship. Then later, I cheated on her. Which was a stupid, horrible mistake.

The problem isn’t the cheating. It’s the lying. She may love you but just not be monogamous. My brother is in an open relationship. It wouldn’t work for me but maybe it works for you?

I’d have a talk with her and say that if she’s fooling around she has to be honest. But tell her you’d be willing to work it out if she tells the truth. If you love her.