I don't know what to do

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Hi so ummm I'm not sure how this works, im ad 17 year old gilr and I just really need a way to let my emotions out at the moment I'm in bed crying because I'm a fat piece of shit and every time I feel good about my self my mum puts me down she will come up to me and pat my stomach and she will tell me to suck in she also is threatening to take me to the doctors if I don't exercise more and says that she carers about me. This all is making me feel really bad about myself but on top of that she is always comparing me to my friends and sayin that the are better than me because they are doing stuff with their live like getting after school jobs, I have tried so hard to get an after school job I must have applied to at least 50 or 60 and ether never heard back or been regected so that's fun. I keep putting on a positive attitude around my frinds because I don't want to be a burden but I don't know what to do or how to handle myself any more I feel like I'm going to snap and I don't know what's going to happen.