I don't know what's wrong with me

Time Spent- 46m
59 Visitors

I've had problems sleeping since I was a kid. It started when I was around 5 or 6 years old... I slept walk every so often and would have often episodes of what I believe is nocturnal panic attacks. I usually remember most of my dreams in very vivid detail which I keep a log of my dreams. I would say 90% of my dreams are terrifying but the other 10% are ones I've awoken from crying with happiness (usually when I talk to deceased loved ones). I use to not even want to confront these dreams I've had because they scared me to death. Talking about them made me feel like I was crazy to others. Parents knew I had these but really just shrugged it off as a "phase". I am now 25 years old and have these a little less often but every now and then I feel like when I try to really hone in on my inner thoughts and meditate I get close but am cut off by something. I'm not sure if it's something like a repressed memory but I sure hope I can get over this soon because I'm so very tired. I've never really told anyone but my sister this because the few I did open up to about it weren't helpful or criticized me for being weak or brushing It off as "everyone has bad dreams". Anyways if you've made it this far, thanks for listening to my story and I hope you all sleep well. Ps- forgive me for grammar I've slept 4 hours in the past 3 days so my brain is fried.