i don’t know who the hell i am. i look in the mirror and see.. a blank face. i see a person. i see someone i don’t recognise and that scares the shit out of me. i don’t know who i am. i don’t know what i’m doing or how to find myself. i’ve been thinking a lot about what makes you, well, you. memories? past experiences? are you simply born with the knowledge of who you are and what you’ll become? i have absolutely no idea. my memories are pretty shit. there’s been many ups and downs. i’ve never really had any long-lasting friends. my memories are full of pain and regret. what kind of person does that make me? am i responsible for the pain and emptiness being inflicted upon my life? was it my past experiences that have led to to this desolate life? i wish i knew. i want to a be able to love myself. i want to be filled with happiness and confidence. i want to feel as though i’m allowed to be alive. i’m so fed up of all this nothingness. i want someone to say my name and for me to respond instead of looking blankly towards them. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin. i hate it here. i hate being so lost and trapped in my mind. oh god, i wish life was more simple. i can’t imagine anyone’s read this far, but on the off chance that you have.. here’s my (secret) instagram @jxsperj . message me:) people keep telling me “you’re 15! things will work out”. oh god, i wish they do. i really wish they do. i cannot keep living out my life like this. this isn’t living. i feel so trapped and lost and empty and alone and so fucking mad at the world for making me like this. i don’t know who i am, but i’m trying so desperately to find myself.