I just wanna say i hate life lately. I don't have any major financial or health issues and alike. It's just...I feel lonely aa shit. All my irl friends turned towards noxious habits, my online friends feel close yet so distant. Many ghost me, some seem to only approach me because I draw art. Some feel to have narcissit complex and others just outright don't seem to give a shit about me some days and some others I matter a lot to them. They say they forget to reply but it's ammost everytime we talk.
I feel like i'm not good enough sometimes.
i wish i could be emotionless and just send everyone i know to fuck off and never have to see any of them again.
part of me wishes i could just drop dead right here right now, but i'm afraid of what lies beyond death.
idk what to do. I don't want to kill myself. I just wanna feel reassured about the people that care about me. I've always tried to treat people as you wanna be treated but it always just comes back as trash. Yet when I am the one being self-centered then i'm just a cunt.
idfk what to do at this point. Fuck life.