I don't want to die i just want to stop suffering

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I'm so sensitive mentally. I feel so little and unimportant, and that nobody loves me. I dont want to feel this way, but i do. My parents spoil me, but I don't feel loved. I don't want to die, I just want to stop the pain. I want it to stop. I want help, but I dont want to rely on someone. some therapists care im sure, but they get paid to help, right? I feel like a horrible person too. I'm ugly and fat and stupid and dumb and i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself.. Usually aftr writing one of these my pain goes into it, but this is my second one.. im gonna write another... i wish i was normal. i wish..