I dont want to exist

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I'm sad and lonely.... I don't want to die I'm cowerd I can't hurt myself instead I want to disappear like I have never existed to not be here anymore I thought happiness was a simple thing to ask for in this word just to be happy but life is not fair and there is no happiness for more than a week maximum and also there is no pure happiness there have to be something in the background of your brain that upset you that you are worrying about I want peace in my heart I want to rest to feel empty from everything even the good stuff I just want to not think about anything