my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. our relationship started simple and perfect, free of any issues and the only thing that mattered was how we felt about each other. I felt like I was on the top of the world talking to him. I felt butterflies when he would tell me he thought I was beautiful or how he loves all the things I've always been so insecure about. I've never felt more loved or important in my whole life. lately, my boyfriend and I have had a bit of a rocky time. we keep getting into small bickering arguments which hurt so badly. I feel a stabbing pain in my heart whenever we argue. I cry so hard and can't help but notice how used to this arguing my boyfriend has become to the point where he doesn't get emotional about it anymore. I hate arguing, it's the worst thing in the world yet I feel like we always somehow end up arguing. we have a few good weeks then a full week of small insignificant arguments. I want to fix this so bad. I want us to be able to fully trust each other like we did at the start of our relationship but I'm so afraid things will never be the same. we promise each other we will never split up because we're both everything to one another. he has never considered or threatened breaking up with me, which I know he won't, but I'm sometimes confused as to whether it would be better for us to stay together or breakup. I love him so much, and we always have so much fun together. even when we argue we're always able to resolve it and talk about it and comfort each other. on the other hand, some of our fights become so harsh even when there's no real reason for us to argue. it feels like we're constantly up and down and I'm anticipating a period of argument after we have a solid week without any arguments. thinking about not having him in my life kills me, but hurting him and thinking about the ways I've been hurt make me crumble inside. my boyfriends best friends cousin is my boyfriend ex. my boyfriend's best friend (let's call him Jim) is very close with my boyfriend's ex's (let's call her Hannah) family as they are related. my boyfriend still has to be around Hannah sometimes simply because he is hanging out with Jim. this used to not bother me, but now I can't help but think maybe being around her so much he'll realize he wants her back. In my eyes, it would be so much more simple for him if she dated her again over me. Hannah is beautiful, athletic, and he would see her a lot since he would be able to hangout with his 'girlfriend' and best friend at the same time. my boyfriend is always insisting he wants to be with me, he loves me. him and Hannah didn't exactly have a very serious relationship as they didn't do much and it ended very quickly. I find myself jealous of Hannah and in an odd way obsessed with her. I'm not crazy - I simply just envy her and wish my boyfriend would never see her again. I wish he never had to be around her or associated with her, but he doesn't want to create a problem between them as it may affect and ruin his and Jim's friendship. I can't make my boyfriend choose between me and his best friend as we are both very important in his life, but I would do anything to get any connection to Hannah out of his life. my boyfriend doesn't seem to see the issue I have with Hannah and thinks I have no reason to feel jealous. he doesn't understand how upset I feel when I know she's going to be where he is. he reminds me that they don't talk and they're not friends but I can't help but think he's lying to me to protect me from getting hurt. Hannah, my boyfriend, Jim, and I all went to the same school for two years. Jim and Hannah left that school but my boyfriend and I stayed. In the past at this school, Hannah and I did not get along. she had always been rude to me and we never ended up being friends. this makes me think Hannah has a motive to want my boyfriend and I to break up. I sometimes wonder if she still has feelings for me and that's why she hates me even more now. however, I've also considered that she may not have any romantic feelings for my boyfriend, instead she simply hates me and wants to make things worse for me by attempting to make us break up. my boyfriend doesn't see how truly harsh she can be and I wouldn't put it past her to try something to ruin us. I can't lose my boyfriend; not to Hannah, not to our arguments, not to anything. I'm clueless as to how I can fully trust my boyfriend and fix our relationship. I get so upset and start arguments whenever he's with Hannah. he has explained to me that he doesn't choose to be with her, its just an unfortunate consequence of hanging out with Jim. we've argued over this so many times, but every time nothing is ever fixed. we just brush it under the rug and pretend everything is ok even though I know those feelings will return. there are times in our relationship when I've tried to get over my jealousy and move on. I was almost successful - I hadn't felt any need to argue, check her social media, or even be upset. However, my boyfriend went on a summer vacation for a week with Jim (and his family meaning Hannah was also there). this was such a painful week for me. I felt helpless, and hated how my boyfriend was going to be with her. I'm scared I will never get over this jealousy and that will lead to the end of our relationship or make it toxic. I love him so much, but I'm in so much pain.