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I feel like doing suicide

I am pissed off with my life.. i left my boyfriend because he was of lower caste because of my family's reputation. I live in India ofcourse. I am from an upper caste. I have not talked to my parents about him but i know they will never accept him. Then i will feel embarressment thats why i broke up 10 days back and said many rubbish things to him. I said i want to search a guy for myself with whom i am sure that i can spend my life, and also of same caste and also more good looking and smart. And said all this bluntly to him. And asked him nkt to talk again. We broke up. Actually i always wanted what i have written above.. but my boyfriend came to my life... but this is also my fault as i only sort of trapped him... but whem he came in mh life then i realized about the mistake i made...and asked him to leave but...but neither of us could leave each other... we were in our college at that time..After passing college, he chose a different field and i chose some different. He is not settled, he is studying still, he is of lower caste, doesnt have a very strong family background, not very good looking or smart... how can i agree on him... ???? He just have 1 thing a good heart... but this is not practical ....what should i do... i miss him still... if there were no caste bars may be i would have accepted him...may be... but right now I cant because he give me no reason... and i am dying to get married... only 1 thing is revolving in my mind and that is marriage... is it bad to crave for marriage? I dont how will i do without him with a new guy... but i dont want to loose my family trust also... aling with their reputation ofcourse... i know it sounds sickening...but trust this is the scene in India mostly... I think i am in depression, i think i have turned mad...i feel like doing suicide and its been 10 to 11 months i am feeling that way... any comments on my mental health... i feel i am mad? What do you feel after reading this...?

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Re: I feel like doing suicide

Regrets are a horrible thing are they not? Only thing you can do is not repeat them.


Do you regret telling him he was not good enough for your snobby stuck up ass? i did not see you post one actual thing he did to you negatively.

Maybe he was to good for you.


Grow the fuck up. Your so worried about embarrassment and look and social standing. What about being a decent human being?


Man he sure picked wrong. sounds like you may be pretty on the outside. And on the inside, your only worried about superficial shit.


See, when I decide if i like a guy or not, i do not do that based on looks, money, or social standing. I decide on if i like someone based on how they are. I do not give a shit if your wealthy, money don't impress me. However what does impress me is if you clean up after yourself, instead of leaving it for someone else. Like a tired full grown adult with kids of her own at home that are not old enough to clean up after themselves. And the sense of sadness she feels for other adults that are not capable of cleaning up their mess leaving her with job security. Or the laundry room attendant, that needs to go behind and sweep up the dirt you brought in and the dryer sheets you leave on the floor because,-

(and i personally had an ex of mine say this to me as i was wiping the inside of my washer because she had just cleaned it and i left dog hair after washing my dogs blanket),-

"Just leave it. Its her job. Not yours."

Believe me, when I say I lost every ounce of RESPECT i had for the man. That moment.


It aint no one job but yours to clean up after yourself.


But I degress.


You are a spoiled, rude, shallow human being. Ever heard the statment put yourself in someone elses shoes?


How the fuck do you think he felt when you told him he wasnt good enough? Bluntly or otherwise dont matter. Fuck even a callgirl/ side peice feels like shit for not being good enough. for being choosen. You on the other hand, if told you just werent good enough, would probably laugh it off and not believe it. Because your inflated snece of self esteem would blind you from seeing the truth.



So y am I waisting my time?




Hey why don't u try me you can Gerry me at tmaster6302@gmail.complease iam also in need of a girl like you and with rich heart's do contact me ok. And leave the thought of killing yourself it's not the solution to the problem Be positive andtl for sure something positive will happen in future.


My mom used to beg me to kill my self for being autistic. So since about age 7 I’ve felt that way. Once it gets in your head it’s always lurking about. But sharks are always in water. You can chose to get out when you see one. This will be crude but here’s some things I do to try to push it away. Watch blinking Christmas lights. Play with myself. Watch comedy. Listen to funny music. Dance. Sing funny song. Exercise. Eat candy.

Well I hope you fight. I’m 60. You can do it if I did. Sorry if crude. Over here teens say stuff I didn’t say till 20’s. I figure if your thinking of self harm then masturbating is not a big deal. Just don’t get caught.

As for caste. My wife’s mom was that way. My wife got sick. Her mom say she will help if divorce me. After 35 yrs I was threw out. I put all the money in the house. Now I have none. Since then all 5 us have lots problems. Ex may die from how stress add to her illness. Her mom wouldn’t so I took all money I had left to pay for medical help trying save her life. I was never good enough for her mom. In the end for wife either it seems. We are still best friends but my health collapse. I think I’ll be dead in 9-12 months. Maybe sooner. I hate that. My kids need me. I’ll fight to my last breath.

Regrets are a horrible thing are they not? Only thing you can do is not repeat them.


Do you regret telling him he was not good enough for your snobby stuck up ass? i did not see you post one actual thing he did to you negatively.

Maybe he was to good for you.


Grow the fuck up. Your so worried about embarrassment and look and social standing. What about being a decent human being?


Man he sure picked wrong. sounds like you may be pretty on the outside. And on the inside, your only worried about superficial shit.


See, when I decide if i like a guy or not, i do not do that based on looks, money, or social standing. I decide on if i like someone based on how they are. I do not give a shit if your wealthy, money don't impress me. However what does impress me is if you clean up after yourself, instead of leaving it for someone else. Like a tired full grown adult with kids of her own at home that are not old enough to clean up after themselves. And the sense of sadness she feels for other adults that are not capable of cleaning up their mess leaving her with job security. Or the laundry room attendant, that needs to go behind and sweep up the dirt you brought in and the dryer sheets you leave on the floor because,-

(and i personally had an ex of mine say this to me as i was wiping the inside of my washer because she had just cleaned it and i left dog hair after washing my dogs blanket),-

"Just leave it. Its her job. Not yours."

Believe me, when I say I lost every ounce of RESPECT i had for the man. That moment.


It aint no one job but yours to clean up after yourself.


But I degress.


You are a spoiled, rude, shallow human being. Ever heard the statment put yourself in someone elses shoes?


How the fuck do you think he felt when you told him he wasnt good enough? Bluntly or otherwise dont matter. Fuck even a callgirl/ side peice feels like shit for not being good enough. for being choosen. You on the other hand, if told you just werent good enough, would probably laugh it off and not believe it. Because your inflated snece of self esteem would blind you from seeing the truth.



So y am I waisting my time?




Thank you for whatever you wrote.. i just apologised him for my deed but now i caanot look myself in the mirror... i thoight j was a pyscho all this time but you saud i am spoiled rude and fucked up... may i am everything you said.. may be there is no point for such a tixic person to live in this beautiful world... may be the toxicity should be wiped. Thankyou for making my confusion settled... i was not able to sleep but now i think i can rest. Thanks!