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I feel like I’m cheating mentally. Help

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 9 months and I acre a lot about him. My ex has tried staring a friendship with me but asks for nudes and wanted me to drive 8 hours to where he lives now for a weekend with him. I told him no and that he can get other girls for that and he said he only wanted me like that and why was it for hard for me to understand. I know I’m not stupid enough to believe that and knows he only wants to use me, but why do I want him to want me the same way I want him? How do I make this feeling go away. I’ve blocked him in everything and it’s been weeks but I just wish he didn’t only want me for sex