3 months ago
Time Spent- 19m
4 Visitors

I feel like my life’s falling apart

I wake up drained every single day, I don’t eat. Even tho sometimes I’m starving, I convince myself not to because I am unhappy with the way my body looks. I struggle getting out of bed some days because I feel like I just can’t face anything and seeing anyone is distracting me from trying to get over what ever this is going on in my life. For the last 5 nights I have cried myself to sleep, not just with subtle tears but the type of cry where you want to scream and let it all out but you can’t and have to hold a pillow to your face so no one can hear you. The type of cry where you shake endlessly not knowing if your going to do something you might regret. I can slowly feel my life fading away and forever feel like it’s my time to go, but I don’t know how. I feel unimportant to everyone, my friends they never want to see me anymore and they are all busy getting on with their amazing life’s, my family I don’t have that close bond with so i feel like a stranger to them when it comes to my emotions. And my boyfriend, I feel like I’m dragging him down and making him unhappy because of how unhappy I am with myself. I feel like a burden to everyone who shouldn’t be here anymore. I recently started college and seeing so many new people is terrifying to someone who is quiet and shy, the stress is unbelievable and I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I have no motivation in my life. I have nothing to look forward to anymore, everyday feels like a repeat of the last and I accomplish nothing. I just want to feel okay again. I want to feel wanted :(